You Can’t Repair That House!

Have you ever looked at yourself, your situations, your circumstances, and thought how broke down my life has become, kind of like a broken house?  Have you ever wondered how you got to this point in your life? Have you wondered how you would get out of this hole you have dug?  Well, I have been there, actually, more than once in my life.  As I’m writing this blog post, I realize that moments come and moments go.  What things look like today can change in the blink of an eye.  As you are reading this, you are probably wondering why is the title talking about

Repairing A House.

Ha ha.. I can understand.. stay with me for a second.. I’m getting there.

As the season begins to change into Fall.. my neighbor and I have spent many days speaking about this house on our street.. one that is really not looking good.  It is bank owned and on the market for 75% less than the value we would like it to have.  I can’t really blame the bank for selling it at such a low price, considering the condition that it is in.  This house is in horrible condition.  It needs a new roof, it supposedly has mold.  I mean the bank had to put a “Enter at your own risk” sign on the door for people checking out the home.  My neighbor and I were hoping that the bank would do the repairs and sell the house at a higher price.. no such luck.  This house sold for next to nothing.  As I sit outside my home looking over at the house, I notice the “investor” that purchased the house. He is focused and determined to get the house ready to rent.

Now.. remember what I discussed at the beginning about your life not quite ending up the way you expected and how you are going down a certain road and then you wake up and can’t believe where you are or how you got there? Well, check this out..

as I sit outside my house,

I noticed that there is a big dumpster outside the house.  The next day I notice that they are gutting the house out.. Everything inside is coming out.  The next day I notice that it is getting power washed.  As I’m watching the power washing.. I’m thinking come over here and power wash my house.. smile.  Then my neighbor and I are like when we see a roof.. we know he is serious about renting this property.  Guess what.. yep… the next day there were guys putting a roof on that house.  The next thing you know, painters were out painting the house.  I drive by the house everyday to get to my home. Yesterday I drove by and noticed the beauty coming from that home, see before it was a house, now it is looking like a home again.


 As I was driving by, God reminded me of how I looked when I first came to Him.  I was filthy, some may say I had mold growing in me.  My mind was full of junk and confusion.. some may say I needed a new roof.  My heart was broken and I was full of disappointment.. some may say that I needed to be gutted out. My value had depreciated based on poor decisions.  Some of you know what I’m talking about.  But GOD!! As I watched that house get a makeover, God reminded me of how He made me over.  How he gutted me out and softened my heart and taught me the truth about forgiveness. I used Psalms 51:10: Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  (NIV). How He cleared my mind and gave me a new roof of peace. Notice Romans 8:6: The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; (NIV). How He washed me clean with the blood of His Son and took away all the filth.  I lived in Psalms 51:7: Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow (NIV). There is nothing that is too broke down, destroyed, or filthy for God.  There is no situation or circumstance that is too hard for God.  Who do you trust to help get you out of your situation? Who do you believe in? I’m writing this post because I know that there is a single parent out there looking for direction.  Sometimes as single parents we have many things to handle.  Most people have no idea what we go through on a daily basis.  All I’m saying is if you have tried everything else and it’s not working.. maybe it’s time to try God.  The only reason I can write this post is because I went to God and realized that looking back simple is not an option.

  Your House is repairable, I know it for a fact.

house

Why Are We Always Climbing Mountains

climbing mountainsAre You Climbing A Mountain?

As I was reflecting over my life, and what I am looking forward to in the future the Lord gave me an amazing revelation to share about a mountain. As a single lady, I’m often in the mist of married ladies, some in blissfully happy marriages and some in turmoil. Now, during one of these moments I caught myself listening to a wife that was growing with her husband and things were slightly difficult, yet her strength touched my heart. Of course I was thinking, “I’m not sure how she does it, which may be the reason why I’m a single mother”.. hmmm. I know some of you “single moms” out there know what I’m talking about. My next thought was, “When I get married I’m going to be walking down that mountain with my husband.. NOT up.” At that exact moment God began to speak to me. He reminded me of this past January when I climbed Camelback Mountain in Phoenix, Arizona. He asked me, “How did it feel climbing up the mountain?” I thought about it for a HOT second, and responded it was hard, smile. Then He asked me, “How did it feel coming down the mountain?” I thought about this question for about two HOT seconds, and responded it was HARD. Smile. Wow!

climbing mountains

Maybe You’re Not Climbing A Mountain..hmmmm

What a revelation. As I came down Camelback Mountain I was exercising different muscles in my legs then when climbing the mountain. I begin to think of all the times I had testified with my tongue that I was continuously climbing a mountain. Never did I once consider that maybe I was coming down from the mountain. Now scripture is clear on the power of our tongue. Proverbs 18:21 states: The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruits. (NIV) While 1 Peter 3:10 states: For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. (NIV) All the times I thought I was still climbing a mountain I could have been two steps from coming off it.. yet because I felt pain, I decided that I must still be climbing, my testimony kept me on the mountain instead of bringing me off it.

Sometimes we are going through hard times and the mountain seems never ending. Well, if you haven’t physically climbed a mountain before, I recommend you take a day a climb one. Going up a mountain or coming down a mountain, are both equally difficult. If you are in the mist of a trial and it appears as though you will never see the end of the mountain. I challenge you to allow your tongue to speak the truth that you are simply steps away from getting off that mountain. I remember when I came close to the bottom of Camelback Mountain, I ran to get off, I pressed through. Versus going up the mountain when I stopped and had some water, ate a granola bar, and relaxed before taking the next steps. Is it possible you are at the end of your trial, yet your muscles hurt from coming down? Is it possible that you are two steps from Victory? Absolutely! So simply Get up and press and get off that mountain.

Climbing A Mountain Is Victory!

Keep Smiling,

 

Being A Single Mom Can Require Sacrifice!

Being A Single Mom Comes

with Sacrifice!

being a single mom

The reality of being a single mom didn’t really sink in for me until my oldest daughter turned five years old.  At that time I realized that I needed to go back to school in order to help my daughter learn.  Around this same time I realized that I could not spend my time “chilling” any longer.  Being a single mom literally changed my life, and at the beginning everything felt like a sacrifice.  If you are a single mom, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Now, here is even something else to think about.. I was 25 when I had my first child and the sacrifice appeared unbearable.  Now I can only imagine how it is being a single mom when you are younger… like 16, 19, 21… you see what I’m saying. Makes one wonder if being a single mom is a blessing or a curse… hmmm depends on how you look at the meaning of sacrifice.

Being A Single Mom A Blessing?

Now I wanted to touch on the sacrifice of being a single mom because as I’m talking to single moms, I realize that many of us deal with our own individual sacrifices when adjusting to single motherhood.  Yet, I have also come across some mom’s that need to learn how to sacrifice.  The world we live in today is very motivated by immediate gratification.  Being a single mom requires that one learn the meaning of delayed gratification.  Understand this concept works for single dad’s, and really parents in general.  See being a single mom requires that you sacrifice today to enjoy tomorrow.  Basically denying yourself of certain wants NOW.. so that you can reap the fruits of a successful child in the future.

When I think of sacrifice, I think of Jesus and his death on the cross. He made the ultimate sacrifice for me, surely, being a single mom, I can make some sacrifices for my girls.

Being a single mom is worth every sacrifice I have made and continue to make!

Look at every sacrifice that you make as a offering toward something amazing.  My oldest daughter is now 10 and every day I see the amazing blessings that have come from my sacrifice.  All the seeds I have sowed are now beginning to blossom into amazing flowers.. and the flowers motivate me to continue to sacrifice each and every day.  Today I look at sacrifice like it is an opportunity to install something great into my future and the future of my girls.  I pray that you see your sacrifice as the same.

Here are my two flowers blooming each and every day. They keep me on my toes and they keep me smiling always. They simply make being a single mom worth every second of every day.

being a single mom

Being a single mom is worth every sacrifice!

forgiveness

Forgiveness is a tool I had to learn..

 And the Price for TRUE Forgiveness is High and Worth Every Cent

Let me explain what I’m talking about.. As a single mom, we are placed in the position to exhibit forgiveness over and over again. Now, I’m not sure about your experiences, yet let me share a few of the ones that I have encountered and let’s see if you find some similarities. Now I need to let you know this works for single parents in general. Forgiveness is necessary for single dad’s just as much as for single mom’s.

forgiveness

 The Road To Forgiveness made me become the “BIGGER” Person constantly..smile

Once becoming a single mom.. I realized that forgiveness is not an option, yet a necessity.  See I found myself constantly ticked off at situations that I did not have control over.. which kept me from enjoying the blessings of Motherhood.  Let’s see if you can relate to any of these situations.. for which I had to forgive:

1. Being lied about to others instead of simply being thanked for taking care of our child without  help from non-custodial parent.

2. Attitude from girlfriend of non-custodial parent.. just because you think you have something I want.. (Hint: If I wanted it.. I would still have it.. TRUST!.. ok I probably shouldn’t have typed that.. yet it is true.. smile)

3. Arrogance toward me.. as if I owe you something simply because you dropped a seed.. oh and because you are responsible for child support.

Have you found anything similar to your situation yet??  Ok.. I have one more..

4.  Letting our child down.. by saying one thing and not even doing that ONE Thing.. (This situation gets me over and over..)

Now I could keep going.. yet this is all I can think of right now.. Now let’s get to the medicine.  The truth is that at times it is very hard to exhibit forgiveness.  See I realize that forgiveness is not something that we can do in our own strength.  It is a gift.. and I recommend you use it.   This gift makes Joy so much simpler to hold on to.  The bible talks about forgiveness in Matthew 18. Let me be more specific.. and explain it to you the way I envision the conversation going.. smile.  So Peter goes over to Jesus and ask him.. “How often do I allow a person to treat me WRONG and offer him forgiveness, about seven times.. Right?” Now Jesus responds, “Nah man.. I didn’t say UP TO seven times.. but UP TO Seventy times seven.. oh and that is for each offense!” Can you imagine Peter’s face??  Let me put it this way… Shalonda ask, “Jesus, How many times am I supposed to forgive this man for not paying child support?” Now Jesus responds, “Baby Girl, you already know.. for you have read My Word.. I need you to forgive him seventy times seven times for not paying his child support.. oh and by the way that forgiveness does not include the arrogant attitude”.. smile

forgiveness Now that I’ve kind of explained the pains of forgiveness.. let’s discuss the GREATNESS of forgiveness!.. When you forgive you are FREE.. you can move forward with your life.  You have room for all of the Blessings that are due you.  You find time to make new stronger relationships.  Opportunities arise that allow dreams that you thought were long gone to come alive.  Forgiveness allows you to show your children how to forgive so that they are not bound by unforgiveness and can enjoy successful relationships. The truth is that as single parents we have a responsibility to exhibit forgiveness.

Forgive and Keep Smiling,

Family Bonding Time Is Important.. and FUN!!

 

Family bonding time took place today!!

 
So my oldest and I went to Six Flags today and had an amazing day.  It really reminded  me that as a single mom, I don’t really spend a lot of time with my daughters just having family bonding time.  Today I left my phone behind and simply gave my daughter 100% today.   She is ten years old.. and I spend most of my time working in order to support my daughters.  Once I get home or off the computer I’m usually to tired to really have any family bonding time.

Well after today.. Read the rest of this entry

You Need A New Child Support System..

It’s another beautiful day in Single Mom land as I’m looking at my “Child Support System”!!! smile.

 


So, I felt the need to share this video.. as I sit here on a Tuesday..”Work Day”.. and the thought crossed my mind of rather my baby daddies are working.. and if they are..

Why is it okay not to pay their child support?..

 


Then I remembered.. that it really doesn’t matter at the end of the day.. cuz I have to take care of this situation right here.. then I take it even further.. actually God is going to help me take care of this situation right here.. because I’ve placed Him as head of my household.. Is it easy???? HELL NO!!! Placing everything I have in God’s hands.. is not all that easy.. I’m asked.. why don’t I trust him.. and just have peace.. well because I’m used to Read the rest of this entry

Wow.. I’m really a Single Mom.. and….

I’m a single mom and at this moment..

 

I really don’t even know where to began.. that fact that I’m even sharing this story is crazy in itself.. so I’m just going to be REAL with you right now..

I never dreamed about being a single mom..

I definitely didn’t dream about being a single mom of two girls by two different men.. Yep, I said it.. two different men.. Now Read the rest of this entry

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